I get daily Google Alerts on the topic of midlife and I’m getting twice as many links now as compared to two years ago which means that this topic is trending. And, last year, the TED conference asked me to give this short talk on why midlife is a chrysalis, not a crisis.
I have a theory for why this is happening and beware it’s slightly deep. One of the major tasks of midlife is to say “fuck off” to the narrow paths that have constrained us and stand rather naked in the world while embracing our autonomy. This requires a sort of disassembling process of renewal; hence, the chrysalis metaphor…or as Richard Rohr suggests, “Order, Disorder, Reorder.” We’ve certainly felt a societal disorder these past few years and maybe a thirst for a reorder, one that feels fresh and future-oriented. Maybe this partly explains the enormous spike-up in the Democratic ticket’s chance to retain the White House? How might we find our independent dignity in a new form as a midlifer ourselves and as a country? Maybe the U.S. has been experiencing a midlife chrysalis that will prove to be transformative?
Lastly, one other feature of midlife is the opportunity of self-transcendence (well-documented in this 2021 study in the Journal of Personality), the ability to see oneself as part of something bigger. As we move through a self-transcendent midlife, we feel an increased need to connect the dots between past, present, and future in a way that allows our lives and our stories to make sense. According to the study, those who score high on self-transcendence see life to be “an exciting and self-revealing journey.”
So, maybe, we’re throwing off the shackles of our midlife malaise, both personally and societally, and preparing ourselves for our butterfly stage.
-Chip
P.S. One of our MEA alums, Paula Serpa, wrote the lyrics to a new song called “Midlife” performed by a few musicians from Supernova, a successful pop band back in the 90’s. All in their late 50’s with family lives and busy profissional careers outside the music industry, the creative gains and pains of making music makes them feel fully alive.
P.P.S. Here’s what you’ve been asking for! I love y’all and appreciate your funny emails razzing me for the fact that most of my workshops are sold out for the balance of this year and few of them have financial aid available. I’m co-leading a workshop with one of Brené Brown’s favorite thought leaders, Karen Walrond, from Aug 27-Sept 1 here in Santa Fe and not only do we still have availability but we still have some financial aid spaces as well – ENROLL HERE. Karen’s book Radiant Rebellion is one of my favorite books of the past year.