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Armor Down: A Midlife Reflection on Fierce Vulnerability


Chip’s Note: I welcome midlife men facing up to their vulnerability and Steven’s guest post does just that.

In the heart of midlife, filled with joy, sorrow, and discovery, David Whyte’s words resonate deeply: “To live wholeheartedly, we must engage with life fiercely, embracing both its joys and sorrows.”

Recently, my family and I have faced health issues and loss, highlighting life’s impermanence and complexities. These experiences urge us to be simultaneously courageous and tender.

At this crossroads, the metaphorical armor we’ve self-forged and worn over the years symbolizes our strength and determination to guard against life’s challenges. Yet, in these moments, we recognize the weight of this armor and how it distances us from genuine connection and joy. Our challenge is discerning when this armor, once protective, now hinders our engagement with life’s full spectrum of experiences.

Echoing through this journey is the profound reminder that we must choose: the safety of the known or the courage to experience the mystery. This choice becomes a dance with what one could call “fierce vulnerability,” a term that captures the valor required to remain fully present to the conviction of a full life. 

This armor feels indispensable, particularly in our professional lives, where ambition clashes with the desire to be seen and loved for who we are. The demanding nature of our workplaces often leaves little room for authenticity and connection. 

Two truths emerge from examined experience. The first is that this armor began forming long before our careers began. The second truth is that we can have comfort or courage, but not both. 

Here, at the crossroads of personal fulfillment and professional endeavors, lies a poignant truth: vulnerability is our true strength. Opting to set aside our armor in moments ripe with potential for connection, growth, and heartfelt interaction is an act of profound courage. 

Through my own experiences with MEA and elsewhere, I have witnessed that laying down our armor is not just a radical act; it is an essential catalyst to growth. 

In embracing the full spectrum of life—its pains, pleasures, and inherent beauty—we discover the bravery to live with more heart. To navigate well through midlife and beyond is not to build stronger armor but to learn when to lower our heart’s drawbridge, allowing ourselves to be truly seen and to behold the world in all its stunning mystery and wonder.

-Steven

From surfing to creating artwork to beekeeping, MEA alum Steven Morris is an ever-curious brand and culture-building expert, best-selling author of “The Beautiful Business,” and seeker who’s served 3,000+ business leaders at more than 250 companies — discover more at: https://matterco.co/

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